Review of poker hands images::How Do U Play Texas Holdem - Ask Jeeves
Review of poker hands images::How Do U Play Texas Holdem - Ask Jeeves
"I say, young chap, you look as though you just stepped out of the billiards hall on 53rd Street in New York City. Apparently, your train voyage wasn't enough to infuse your marrow with the essential spirit and energy of Western adventure. I'm sure your journey was quite exhausting. Welcome to Denver City. My name is Randolph Melliflew, and I'm a Denver City attorney. Looking for a place to escape the soot of the railway and catch a good night's sleep? We can step over to Auntie Sal's Saloon and have a drink. I'm sure they will have a room for you on the second floor." I smiled and looked the man over with a quick, cynical glance. He stood tall, about six feet, and wore the stiff suit and cheap bowler hat one might buy in the imported clothing section of a frontier hardware store. His teeth needed the rough cleaning meted out by the barber in every town west of St. Louis, and some of them probably needed pulling. The health of his skin and erect posture indicated nothing of scurvy or contagion. He had soft hands, but his left thumb had the telling callous of an experienced gunslinger. "Sounds great," I replied. "My name is Gary Maxwell. I could go for a chicken dinner and a shot of whiskey." I walked with Melliflew for about five minutes down Main Street, a short roadway populated by the main proprietor shops in Denver City. Melliflew described his occupation to me, the selling and registering of mineral claims in the State of Colorado. Melliflew said he worked in his busy office upstairs from the saloon where we were headed. He counted many local bigwigs among his closest friends, and assured me that wheelbarrows of money could be made by smart investors. His description of life and opportunity in Denver City sounded wonderful, and I found myself in good spirits when we reached the bar doors of Auntie Sal's Saloon. The raucous conversation of excited prospectors and gambling cowboys greeted our entrance. No one took any particular notice of us as we made our way to a stout wooden table in a back corner. Annoyingly, Randolph took the seat facing the bar entrance. Everything about this guy suggested he was a professional shootist. "Well, Mr. Maxwell, what brings you to Denver City?" Randolph grinned broadly. "I'm here for the gambling," I lied. "I've heard about the no-limit wagers here. I'm good with cards, and thought I'd take a seat at a good poker game." Randolph's cheek twitched a little, just noticeably. "Oh, Mr. Maxwell, are you certain that's a good idea? Don't you think you should explore some of the proven enterprises that have made so many of our residents happily wealthy? Or are you strictly a gambler?" I cracked my knuckles. "I can't imagine making money any faster than I generally do in the game of poker. I'm looking forward to a card game tonight." Randolph smiled back at me and nodded cheerfully. His twitching, pumping left hand revealed the greed and opportunism on his mind. "Very well, Mr. Maxwell. Gambling happens to violate one or two city ordinances, but I do know a card game that escapes the watchful eye of the constabulary. I'll take you there tonight." A comely young woman dressed in a chaste, plain dress brought two beers to us on a wooden tray. "Hello, Barrister Melliflew," she greeted Randolph. "Who's your friend? A new client?" Randolph rose from his seat in honor of the young raven-haired barmaid. "Annie Tatley, my precious little sunflower, thank you for gracing us with your charming presence. Allow me to introduce you to my new acquaintance, Gary Maxwell. Gary has arrived from the East in search of the… how shall we say… fiscal liberties that abound in these rollicking mining towns. I'm taking him to Mr. Hall's poker game tonight." I half-rose and gave the barmaid a friendly look. "How do you do?" I asked in a reserved but sincere voice. Annie smiled prettily. "A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Maxwell." Randolph kissed Annie on the hand and returned to his seat. "I'm afraid we will require some privacy, Annie. Could you tell the cook to prepare two fried chicken dinners? Let's show Mr. Maxwell how hospitable Denver City can be." Annie left the two of us. Randolph and I chatted amiably about developments on the East Coast. I gathered that Randolph had lived there in the past five years, but I could not place him among the known gunslingers who had made their way West so recently. Perhaps he worked as a contract killer. Perhaps he hoped to get out of the whole ugly business. I was certain this man buying me my first meal in the West was not a lawyer. After a long dinner, Randolph excused himself and walked out of the bar, ostensibly to tend to a client's business. He promised to return at nine o'clock to escort me to the card game at the mysterious Mr. Hall's residence. I was left alone at the saloon. Annie brought me a shot of whiskey without asking. "How did you know I wanted a shot of whiskey?" I asked her playfully. Her cold eyes betrayed no hint of humor. "I know what kind of man you are, Mr. Maxwell, if that's really your name. You're a bounty hunter, and you're looking for someone. I imagine you're looking for the killer who stalks the settlers every full moon." I didn't ask how she knew I was a bounty hunter, which was the bull's-eye truth. Clearly, she had experience with members of my occupation and knew one when she saw one. However, I did not want to confirm her suspicions, so I changed the subject. "Never mind that. Tell me about Randolph." Annie leaned over the table and began slowly wiping it down with a clean cloth. "I'm sure you've gathered he's not a lawyer. He's a scout for the Soapy Smith bunko gang. After your little conversation, and I can just imagine, he plans to take you for everything you've got in a rigged card game. Watch your back, Gary. If you're planning to run a double confidence game on Soapy Smith's crew, don't. Just stay in your room and get on the train back to the East Coast in the morning. You can lose more than your shirt in Denver City." Unconsciously, I patted the double-action revolver I was carrying in my inside coat pocket. Annie saw what I was doing and recoiled in reflexive fear. "Don't, don't, Annie. Everything's fine. I just want to ask you one more question. What do you know about the Full Moon Killer?" Annie looked relieved as she answered. "No one knows who he might be, but the owner of the hardware store has made himself the center of every effort to find him. He's put a one-thousand dollar reward out, with the mayor's blessing. If anyone has any information about the killer, it's him. His name is Mr. Drew, and he lives in the green house at the end of River Avenue. Hell's blazes, I hope you collect the bounty, Mr. Maxwell." I thanked Annie and then headed upstairs to ask about accommodations. At the top of the stairs, a slim older man in a cheap, dusty vest stood behind a wooden counter. "Do you have a room for the week?" I asked. "I'll give you the third room on the left. That'll be one dollar." I paid the man and he handed me a large brass key. I made my way to the small flat at the end of the hall and let myself in. I put my clothes and shaving kit in the dresser across from the small, hard bed, and my revolver on the nightstand, next to the complimentary Bible. I waited. About twenty minutes later, a knock came at the door. I rose and answered. A matronly woman in a bathrobe and negligee stood in the doorway. Suddenly, my vision watered and blurred, and when I cleared my eyes I saw a handsome, well-appointed gentleman standing next to the scantily-clad woman. I looked at them with hard-boiled skepticism, despite their evident charms. "Good evening, folks," I said neutrally. "What brings you to my door tonight?" The lady laughed prettily, like a much younger woman might. "Good evening, Mr. Maxwell. I'm Auntie Sal, the owner of this establishment. Randolph Melliflew sent word that you might need accommodations for the evening. Tonight I'm entertaining Marshal Buren here, from Fort Justice. I could arrange to have one of the girls from the saloon pay a visit before your card game tonight." A burning hatred rolled up behind my eyes as I thought of the sweet, honorable Ms. Tatley. "Oh, don't worry, Mr. Maxwell," Auntie Sal began again. "That pretty young barmaid you talked with at dinner has proven immune to my professional advice for quite some time. That's not to say she won't eventually come to work for me in full capacity. They always do." I bit my tongue and then began talking. "No, thank you, Madame Sal. I have to prepare for the poker game tonight, and I need some time alone." Just as I spoke, I felt a radiant presence in the room, a kind of spiritual influx. Somehow, I knew the brunt of its force was aimed at Auntie Sal, not me, but my rational side dismissed the phenomenon as a result of the long trip and whiskey. The slackness of Auntie Sal's face suggested something had just happened between her and her companion, something wordless and powerful. The handsome marshal smiled at me and turned to Auntie Sal. "Dear, could you leave Mr. Maxwell and I alone for awhile? I think you have some business to attend to downstairs." Auntie Sal, expressionless and white-faced, turned away from the door without a word and walked away and down the stairs like a silent ghost. The spectral energy of the moment before soon evaporated, and I was alone with the charismatic Marshal Buren. "Welcome to Denver City, Mr. Maxwell. Mr. Gary Victor Maxwell, I presume. Yes, I have some intelligence about your identity and purpose here in Colorado. You seek the Full Moon Killer, for the bounty established by the patriarch of the Mineral West Amalgamated silver empire, George Whitcock. The world knows the Full Moon Killer took Mr. Whitcock's only son to a gruesome, savage death three months ago. The world does not know that Mr. Whitcock has hired the most under-rated gunslinger on the East Coast to seek grim vigilante justice!" This man knew about me what Annie Tatley had only managed to speculate a little while before. I resisted the urge to fidget in my seat. I responded coldly. "I imagine I'm not the only one who has something to hide." The marshal chuckled deeply, sinisterly. "Fret not, Mr. Maxwell. The federal government could use your rare talents on this case. I must admit, the shooting of revolvers is not my forte. And we will have to shoot this killer, Mr. Maxwell. By the way, I'm authorized to add a federal bounty to your private remuneration. Nothing will ever be said of your arrangement with Mr. Whitcock." I stewed in my own frustration. Mr. Whitcock had insisted upon a private, discreet handling of the matter, and now I was up to my eyeballs in corrupt law enforcement. And what was it about this Buren character? Why did he have such a powerful influence over the madame of the saloon? Why did he talk like a German professor? "Very well, Buren." For the moment, I was resigned to a degree of determinism in my future. "I'm glad you've agreed to a new arrangement, Mr. Maxwell. Look inside this small, ornate box. I cannot explain, but you must be convinced that the contents are absolutely vital to our success." And the marshal suddenly held what appeared to be a snuff box, but ever so much more important and valuable. As if under a spell, I took the box from his hand and opened it. There, enveloped in purple velvet, I saw six bullets, the exact shape and size for my revolver, each with a glinting silver slug. "Take these bullets, Mr. Maxwell, and put them in your gun. Tonight, you will meet the Full Moon Killer at the card game. He is no other than Mr. Drew, the traitorous leader of the posse unknowingly responsible for his own capture. We will lure him to the cottonwood bluffs where this strange city was founded, and end his life. "You will play well tonight, Mr. Maxwell. Return to your room here after the game, and I will meet you. We will follow Mr. Drew from his home to the bluffs around midnight." I can't explain what happened next. A beautiful, mystical energy filled my body, my psyche, and I saw the moment of creation itself, far, far away. Then I drifted away… … and woke, sore as a Texas bull-rider, lying on the floor with all my clothes on. A rude noise had awakened me from an eternal epiphany. Knock! Knock! Knock! "Gary, good fellow, it's Randolph. I've come to take you to the poker game!" What a hangover. Groaning, I gathered myself together and rose to answer the door. Randolph Melliflew, looking much the same as the last time I'd seen him, stood there chortling. "Damn, Melliflew. Alright, I guess I'm ready." I wasn't as confident about my card game as I had hoped to be. We left the saloon and walked down Main Street to the burgher district. We arrived at two rows of handsome houses, evidence of the fledgling prosperity taking root among the mining town's proprietors. A street sign proclaimed the existence of River Avenue. I saw the good-looking green colonial home of Mr. Drew on the left. Melliflew pointed to a home with a more risqué Grecan design on the other side of the street. "We'll go there, Maxwell," he spoke in a reverent accent. "Mr. Hall awaits our arrival." We walked to the front of Mr. Hall's house and rang the impressive doorbell. A butler answered, and I would have sworn he came from the same stock as Melliflew. He wore cheap, sturdy butler clothes, and sported the same poor teeth. He welcomed us into the home, calling me by name. The butler escorted us past a row of fine marble statues and into the study. A poker table had been set up in the middle of the room, and two other gentlemen, presumably guests of Mr. Hall, had taken seats there with glasses and a bottle of fine whiskey. I took my seat, and Melliflew took a chair along the wall, near the spittoon. The short, chubby fellow at the table tipped his hat at me. "Evenin', guvnah. Captain Joseph Isaacson, Retired, at your service." The taller, thinner gentleman at the table looked over at me. "Greetings, Mr. Maxwell. I'm Henry Drew, the town's hardware proprietor. It's a pleasure to meet you." Just like that. A force which had taken purchase at the center of my thoughts earlier that evening, while talking to the strange Marshal Buren, told me in wordless images that this was the killer, the stalker of wanderers and settlers, and that I would kill him tonight. Melliflew looked at me predatorily. "Mr. Hall will be joining us soon, Maxwell. Ante starts at five dollars." And then a tall, thin, bearded gentleman in rich East Coast attire entered the room. Aha! It was Soapy Smith himself. Despite his disguise, I recognized him from wanted posters I'd seen in St. Louis. I cursed my luck and hoped I hadn't been recognized. "Good evening, Mr. Maxwell," Smith began. "I'm Mr. Hall, the host of tonight's game. You have excellent references from my friend Randolph, and I wish to welcome you heartily. Should we begin?" The game began. I had the bankroll I'd been given by Mr. Whitcock as part of my cover. The opening moves were made by Soapy Smith and his infamous bunko confederates. I was allowed to win several times, amassing a tidy little pile of bills and coins on the table in front of me. And then… I don't know how to explain it… my mind became overtaken with the inexplicable preternatural abilities every poker player dreams of having. Automatically, thoughtlessly, I knew every confidence trick on the table, every marked card, every unspoken communication between Soapy Smith's men in the room as they attempted to ensnare me in a web of my own trust and greed. I saw, with that strange third eye, that Mr. Drew had no knowledge of his true murderous nature, that he himself was as much a mark for the bunko gang as I. Hand after hand, I scooped my winnings from the middle of the table to the place right in front of me. The perplexity and frustration of my swindler opponents began to show in the sweat on their brow. It looked as though the con artists were running out of money. As I counted my money at the table, I felt the cold steel of a pistol barrel as it pressed against the back of my head. "Not so fast, Maxwell." It was Melliflew, who had been reporting my hand with body language to the other bunko players all night. "Soapy-er, Mr. Hall-I think this has gone on long enough." Isaacson palmed a small gold-plated derringer and leveled it at my chest. Soapy Smith leaned back in his chair and pressed his upright fingertips together, making a small house with his hands. He spoke. "Well, Mr. Maxwell, it appears you've been very dishonest tonight. I'll give you two options. Get up from this table with half-HALF!-the money in front of you and return to St. Louis or wherever you're from, or swear an oath of fealty to me, the Great Soapy Smith, and join my incredible bunko gang. Refuse both offers, and you'll simply… disappear." I was caught between a rock and a hard place. The money in front of me, or half of it, represented a tremendous single-night winning, but nothing compared to the riches waiting for me if and when I brought proof of the Full Moon Killer's-Mr. Drew's-death back to the Whitcock estate. On the other hand, I knew I wouldn't live long if I joined Smith's crew; word would get back to my enemies on the East Coast, and eventually a torpedo would find me and that would be the end of it. Mr. Drew interrupted my mulling by producing two ancient Peacemakers from shoulder holsters under his smartly-tailored coat. "To hell with that, Mr. Hall! I should have recognized your underhanded stratagem from the beginning. Maxwell, wrap the money in your coat! We're walking out of here with everything. Scoundrels!" The strange power that had guided me to success in the rotten card game left me, and I felt strangely weak and feeble. Clumsily, I gathered the money into the folds of my cloak and then clutched the bundle to my chest. Menacing the bunko gang with his Peacemakers, Mr. Drew covered our retreat to the front entrance. The butler watched meekly as we strode out the door. Mr. Drew shook my hand. "Thank you, Mr. Maxwell, for saving me from ruin. If you had not pushed them, I never would have known the exact nature of my losses and would have willingly walked away from Denver City, a bamboozled fool and a pauper. Leave the money with me, and I assure you, I will meet you at the station with your share in the morning. Good night." I didn't have the strength to bargain or refuse. Strangely, I sensed Drew's sincerity. How could this man be the killer? It was a full moon, and he would certainly prowl the countryside tonight in search of fresh victims. I needed Marshal Buren's help. I needed to return to the saloon. I staggered through the streets of Denver City in the direction of Auntie Sal's. Drunken prospector's and celebrating cowboys ran through the streets, howling and shooting pistols in the air. The strength began to return to my arms and legs, and I stealthily dodged the revelers as I continued on my way. The lights of the saloon quickly came into sight. As I approached the saloon, I heard a commotion, the noise of a struggle. My instincts instantly took over, and in a split-second, I had my revolver at the ready. I listened again. There came the sound of gurgling and slurping from behind the saloon building. Nerves on edge, I circled around the side of the building and approached the source of my alarm. Marshal Buren stood in the shadows, the limp body of Madame Sal lifeless in his arms. Buren had his face buried in the prostitute's neck, his head pulsating with an animal intensity. "Buren, avast! Let go of that woman!" I trained my pistol on his back, ready to ventilate him if he made a funny move. Then Buren turned his head away from the neck and gazed at me. I beheld shining white eyes, like the diamond soul of a wildcat, and elongated teeth in the form of fangs, his countenance bathed in slick, glistening blood. Buren released the woman and turned on me with hands which had curled into monstrous, long-clawed weapons. A new voice, a voice which came from a deeper, sturdier place within me than the one I'd heard since first meeting Buren, told me what my rational side had already accepted: Buren was a vampire! I wasted no time. I fired one of the silver slugs at him, and it struck him in the arm. He laughed contemptuously, and then, in a flash, he disappeared. A moment later, I heard the klaxon from the constabulary. Evidently, law enforcement would soon arrive. I had no time to think. I turned and ran, hiding in the shadows as I went. I had no clues, no information to deal with this strange undead creature I had called Marshal Buren. I thought of the only link I had with the monster-Mr. Drew, the Full Moon Killer. I stalked my way to his home, debating whether to knock on the door or to kick it in and demand answers with my six-gun. I nearly slammed into the bushes as I saw Mr. Drew emerge from his home. He looked as though he were somnambulating, and I followed him as he walked down River Avenue to the edge of town. The slow-moving, puppet-like Mr. Drew melted into the forest and began making his way to the bluffs above the Platte River. Creeping up behind him with as much stealth as I could muster, I followed him all the way to the historic location where General Larimer had founded the great mining town which had become Denver City. I reached the bluffs shortly after Mr. Drew. I stood a few paces away as Mr. Drew walked up to the edge of the bluff and turned to face me. The dazzling grey light of the full moon illuminated the entire scene. Mr. Drew looked like a moving statue, no hint of humanity in his pale, stony face. I held my pistol in the air and fired a shot right by his head. The bullet must have crackled as it roared past his ear. Mr. Drew lurched back to his humanness, and regarded me with a murderous hatred. "Maxwell, you should not have followed me tonight. I'm afraid I will have to finish you before you betray my secret, of which I am only now becoming aware myself. Prepare for a match of pistols." The voice I'd inherited from Buren let me know that Mr. Drew would not be drawing his Peacemakers with the speed of an ordinary man, but with the superhuman occult speed of a demon. Thank god I'd already drawn a bead on him. Slowly, I cocked my pistol. Then, from the shadows of the forest, Mr. Buren appeared, his face clean again, but still in the clothes bloodied from the murder of the pandering saloonkeeper. "This will be a three-way contest, gentleman," Mr. Buren said coldly. "Start when you're ready." Mr. Drew unleashed his Peacemakers with inhuman quicksilver speed, but I was already diving to my left, firing two bullets at Mr. Buren. As I landed on my shoulder, I saw the silver bullets impact directly to his chest. Mr. Drew's first shot aimed just where I'd been arcing through the air, but he missed. His second shot, from his second gun, hit Mr. Buren directly in the groin. I had lost all the air in my lungs, and I lay helpless for a second. Mr. Drew looked in amazement as Mr. Buren leisurely loaded a single bullet into his snub-nose revolver. I fired at Drew, and the bullet caught him directly in the chest. Before I could turn to deal with the seemingly blessed Mr. Buren, Mr. Drew began to transform in his death throes. The full moon had reached its zenith, and Mr. Drew began to change bodily into an evil, canine monster. The muscles of his body rippled intensely and began to bulge while hair sprouted all over his face and body, forcing his smart clothes to bulge outward. Then the process reversed, and he was his human self again. Dead. Killed by the silver bullet given to me by Mr. Buren. BAM! Mr. Buren shot me in the arm. The wound didn't seem that serious, but evidently it had been laced with a drug, for I quickly fell asleep… …I woke in the town's blacksmith shop, strapped to the large anvil where all manner of hard goods were fashioned. I could not move. In the shadows of the corner, Mr. Buren stood naked, his body cleaned of all evidence of his feast behind the saloon. He held the magical wooden box in his hands and stood over the broken heart of Mr. Drew, dripping with blood. He had stoked a huge fire in the hearth behind me. I knew he wanted me to see him in this moment, for a creature like him would have no need for firelight to see by. "Thank you for dealing with the werewolf for me, Mr. Maxwell. But I'm afraid I needed you to wound him, not kill him. I must feed on one of their kind every one hundred years to maintain my strength and immortality. You should have taken him to the edge of death, and no further, Mr. Maxwell. That was the instruction I tried to plant in your subconscious. You have a strong will, my friend. But do not worry. I will infect you with the living blood that remains in his eviscerated heart, and you will become his brother in lycanthropy. But only for a short time, Mr. Maxwell. Only for a short time." Mr. Buren crossed the shop floor to approach me, slowly, luxuriating in his moment of triumph and exploitation. He held a small silver knife in his hand, and began to carve the wall of Mr. Drew's heart. The blood began to run down his hand and drip onto the floor. And then, for the first time, upside-down, I saw a look of genuine surprise on his face. He seemed to stagger, and then I saw-he had been lassoed from behind! I craned my head around and saw the gleeful look of competitive concentration on the face of my savior, Annie Tatley! With the expert skill and intelligent strength of a rodeo cowhand, she dragged the vampire toward the raging fire in the hearth and pushed the vampire in. A cascading golden light emitted from the blaze for a few moments, and then all trace of Mr. Buren vanished into thin air. "Mr. Maxwell! I hope you're in a good way!" Annie stood over me, beaming a smile of joy and satisfaction. Annie untied me and then we sat in the blacksmith shop for two hours relating what had happened to each of us after that fateful chicken dinner. Annie had received word that the real Marshal Buren had been found dead in the woods along the trail from Fort Justice, drained of every ounce of blood. Annie had worked for a circus in Texas, and had learned the secrets of the undead from the gypsies who ran the show. After investigating around the saloon to learn more of the impostor, she found the diary of Mr. Drew, a strange, addictive account of his madness and disease. She put two and two together, and began following the vampire after the hue and cry which followed Auntie Sal's murder. We presumed no one would believe Mr. Drew had ever been a werewolf, but we could still collect the bounty from Mr. Whitcock. I thanked my lucky stars, asked Annie to marry me, and the two of us returned to the East Coast to live a life of wealth and influence. |
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